OK, since I seem to be slipping up a bit on getting the rest of this issue blogged (oh, it’s been read for a couple of days, but I can’t get around to blogging it), I’m going to do a recap of what I thought of the last half of the magazine:

• It makes me laugh to see all the recommended stuff on The O List, and then on the next page, there starts another round of “here’s more stuff to buy, even if it’s not on Oprah’s list.” It’s the style section, and it’s got this headline, “Look What We Found!” which made me wonder, did they really find it, or did they just have a lot of x on hand and decided to write about it. I don’t know how magazines work, and I’m curious. Besides, you just got through what Oprah found….do you have to get through what the staff found too?
• There’s an interesting, humorous article on body image that suggests instead of the BMI, using the PBII (Personal Body Image Index) which recommends gauging yourself on how you feel. The purpose is really to help you get over your hang-ups and enjoy your body as it is at the moment. If you’re relatively thin, yet think you’re fat, 30 years down the road, you might look at yourself and marvel at how thin you were back then. And what did you think back then? You were unhappy with yourself. An interesting concept–another way to try to live in the moment.
• Books of Summer? I have too many on my shelf to get into the new books of summer (except the David Sedaris. I’m reading that one right now).
• “Men! What Are You Thinking?!” The themed section is a group of eight short articles written by men in an attempt to explain themselves. There’s the FAQs (“What do you like most about us?”), the crazy things men think up, what they think of fatherhood, men secrets (“Sometimes we don’t open up because we are afraid of what we will find.”), men’s war stories, men and violence, how men and women differ, men and dancing. While they’re somewhat interesting, I couldn’t help but think the articles said what men wanted us to hear. I think I get more about men when I read Esquire.
• There’s an article about 54 ways to say no–mostly it’s in specific situations (dinner companions asking for a bite of your meal, social hugs, etc.). They’re pretty decent. What I didn’t expect was the companion piece, “The Year of Saying Yes!” by Patricia Volk, who I just adore. Hooray! Patricia was apparently good at saying no, and her friend accuses her of not really pushing the boundaries of life, not really living. So Patricia decides to say yes to every offer that comes up, like introducing a film at a film festival, teaching writing for a semester, going on a blind date. By the end of the article she doesn’t regret saying yes to anything she’s said yes to. “The change has to do with the joy of being available to chance. There is a thrilling difference between being comfortable and being too comfortable.” Well said, Ms. Vollk, and with your usual wonderful writing style. Did I mention that I love this writer’s O articles? One of these days I’ll have to read her books.
• Helicopter parents. This is one of those phenomenon that I do not understand. Why do you want to be that wrapped up in your child’s life that you do basically everything for them? The article said it was a rebellion from Gen X latchkey kids, but I don’t really think so. I think it’s easier to live vicariously through someone else’s life rather than make your own. A lot of women have bought into this competitive parenting, and the results aren’t going to be good (although I didn’t have a helicopter mother, I was told what to do on certain occasions when it would have been more beneficial to allow me to explore and do the work myself. I see that now that I’m an adult.)
• What does Oprah know for sure? She’s still excited about her decision to choose Eckhardt Tolle’s book A New Earth for her book club/class experience. She’s excited that people are living more in the moment (or say they’re living more in the moment) and experiencing more spirituality because of it.
• What does Jill know for sure? Well, I’m glad to be finished with another issue. I’m still trying to get a better balance of how to do this blog. Does one big entry like this work? Or would it be better to separate this a bit more? I’ll keep playing with it, but it’s certainly a relief to be done blogging this issue in one fell swoop!

August 2008 is “True Life Stories,” so I’ll read it, then go back to these other men issues. Onward!

UPDATED TO ADD:  A half-hour after I posted this, I realized the July 2008 issue doesn’t have an O Interview in it!  There doesn’t seem to be one in the August 2008 issue either?  This is definitely odd.  I wonder if there’s a reason, or if this is just a little vacation and it’s happened before.  Anyone know?

Well, I’ve wrapped up another issue (yippee!!!!). I’m not doing a separate “What Oprah Knows For Sure” entry because Oprah doesn’t talk about beauty in the beauty issue. Maybe Oprah feels ugly. Maybe she doesn’t feel like she knows something about beauty for sure. What she does know is that when she was in Krakow visiting Auschwitz with Elie Wiesel, she realized that all of life is extraordinary. “There are no ordinary moments.” The whole Auschwitz experience made her feel sad for the Holocaust but also made her happy and long to be alive.

Beautiful thoughts, yes, but it was a bit of a jolt to read them at the end of the Beauty issue. I liked the fact that the magazine tried to get you to change your thinking about beauty without the pat stories about beauty being from within. It was a very non-cliched issue that opened up my eyes to the way we’ve been conditioned to think about beauty and to think about how beautiful or not beautiful we are.

I remember when I was high school age, I used to sit and look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I was beautiful and some guy would eventually see that and think I was beautiful. I went to a school with a lot of Dutch people, many of whom had blond hair and blue eyes. I looked a little bit different–not overly so, but I wasn’t a looker. Telling myself I was pretty though I think had a decent effect on me because I don’t really buy into the idea that a serum will make me look better–maybe it will enhance my already stunning beauty, but it’s not going to cure anything.

Like many women, I’ve been able to beat myself up about who I am or am not. I compare myself to others all too often, and I focus on that stupidity rather than become excellent on my own. Accepting my own beauty is at least was step in the right direction of being a better person.

Well, I’m done with another issue. I’m still struck by all the change that’s going on in O-land. Lots more advice dispensed–I didn’t even get into the advice panel, style q&a, beauty q&a, health/food advice, and relationship questions. It’s as if all we want now are the answers to life’s problems. Somebody, just tell us what to do!

However, I don’t really think that’s a good attitude toward really fixing your problems. As lousy as it seems and as long as it takes, you really do have to go through a mind shift. There’s an interesting article about actress Cynthia Nixon and how she learned to speak up for herself. For most of her life, she wouldn’t disagree or argue a point unless she felt passionate enough about the topic and felt she could win the argument. Well, that doesn’t work so well because then there are things you really care about but don’t say anything because you won’t win. You think the other person will intuitively know what you’re thinking and feeling and act appropriately. Ha! She changed the way she felt when her relationship fell apart and she had to work out child custody issues. Even though her ex felt passionately about the situation, she knew she just couldn’t let him do whatever. She had to speak up. Since then, she’s been better about speaking up, and her life’s improved–she no longer resents people for actions they didn’t know upset her. And she knows that you don’t have to win every argument.

That took years and years to learn–not something that we in our instant gratification society want to hear, but sometimes that’s the best and only way to learn something. Especially when we’re trying to undo bad habits. Maybe it’s just me–I like hearing the stories of people who’ve figured out a way to improve themselves. I like the journey. It’s difficult to change a behavior and it takes time. Just having an answer to a question makes me feel like you’re supposed to be able to change in an instant–a paragraph, as opposed to a 1000 word article. But it’s not that simple.

What do I know about beauty? Beauty is unconventional. I don’t like how fashion magazines make you feel like you have to look like a model. But sometimes they’ll show behind-the-scenes at photo shoots, and you see how clothes are cinched and tied on and aren’t really fitting in the first place. That’s helpful. I also don’t find a ton of models to be actually pretty. They may take a good photo or wear clothes well, but beautiful? Not always. And I don’t want to look like that. I’d rather look more interesting.

I also didn’t get into the Maria Shriver interview. It’s another one of those, “This famous person is my good friend,” interviews, which at first was a turn-off, but then I had to change my mind because Maria and Oprah both worked together at the same news station when they were in their twenties. That was interesting. Maria didn’t have friends outside of her family, which, seeing as how I’m not close to my family, was also interesting. But as interesting as Maria’s story was to read, I don’t think it gave me any aha moments about my own life, hence the reason I didn’t blog about it.

So, I’m done with another issue. Roiled by the changes, but I’ll go with the flow for now. Oh, one more change I just noticed: no pull out cards with quotes on them! Yes, there was a page with inspirational quotes you could tear out and hang up, but that seems to have gone by the wayside as well. Is it a change I miss? Well, I’m not that into inspirational quotes, but I know Oprah’s big on them. I’m surprised they’re gone–is this magazine becoming less Oprah-centric? Perhaps I’ll figure that out over time.

Well, this is kind of a wrap-up–I’ve finished the themed portion of another issue.  I’ll come back to the rest of it at another point during this project.

What have I learned about success?  Well, it’s good to want success–but not to think about it like that.  It’s more of a “be the best you can be, and success will follow.”  I’m still trying to get better, I’m trying to put myself out there more.  I haven’t tasted success as I define it, but I have more confidence that I’ll get there.

I read this issue because I was worried about competition from another Oprah-centric, project-based website called Living Oprah.  I’ve stressed over her project–and hell, I don’t even know if she knows I exist.  After reading a few of these issues, I don’t really care about her anymore.  Her project is different (as the Boy pointed out a while back) and whether or not she succeeds or fails with whatever her goals are, that has nothing to do with me and my work.  It’s up to me to focus on my work and  making it the best it can be [true, it's also up to me to start marketing it and finding out how more people will read it, but I'll work on that].  And that’s a big relief.

OK, I’ve finished the self-esteem bits of the March 2001 issue. I’ll go back to the rest of the issue once I’m finished with my LO dilemma (competition from another blog….or self-perceived competition from another blog).

I have to say this issue has helped me a lot. Mostly with self-esteem, you have to learn how to be confident in who you are and what you do–it’s more important that you don’t sit around and try to measure up to others or let others dictate how you feel.

That said, it’s not easy to go from loving to get approval from everyone to doing your own thing, but it can be done. Just keep plugging away, and the accomplishments will help build you up.

The funny thing is that I can do a lot of stuff–dance, read music, play several instruments, play sports, etc., but I don’t really regard that as being special and making me worthy. I can just do those things. Doesn’t everyone know how? Apparently not. And discounting my accomplishments has helped me to not feel as worthy because I’m not doing something huge and world-changing with my life. No, I just need to keep doing what I’m doing and be good with what I can do.

I also need to know that there will be times when I’m just going to have a bad day, or I’m going to do something stupid. I should acknowledge those times and move on, rather than wallow in them, as I am wont to do. I think I’m better equipped now to handle the downturns though.

I pulled out this issue because I didn’t feel like I could compete with the Living Oprah site/project. But perhaps it’s not a competition at all. I know she exists, but I’ve got my separate thing going and I think it’s a pretty good project in and of itself. So what if she’s had radio interviews? That doesn’t mean her project is any better, nor does it mean my project is any worse. It just means that if I want more readers, I’m going to have to figure out how to publicize this site a little more. That’s all.

So how do I do that? Well, I think it’s time to look at the Success (September 2001) and Excellence (December 2003) issues and see if they have any good advice for me.

OK, although I’m not quite done with this issue, I’m done with the themed bits that will help me get through my dilemma of perceived competition.  I feel better. I feel inspired.  I do have this dream to become a writer, and I think this project is a way to get me there.  Instead of getting waylaid by some other blogger who’s working on a similar project, I feel like I’ve gotten some reminders that I need to have courage about this dream–do it, work on it.  I believe in it, so much so that I just have to make it happen.  Plus, if I take it a little bit at a time, I won’t overwhelm myself, and it’ll just happen before I know it.

So.  Although I’m feeling more confidence in myself and this project at the moment, I’m sure I’m not totally fixed yet, so it’s on to another issue to help me work on how I can put myself out there the same way LO has (i.e.–publicity).  I also need to make sure I stick with my project…and maybe work a bit faster on it.

Done with another issue! Done with volume one! Can you believe it? That in and of itself is a gift–the knowledge that I’ve reached a bit of a milestone. One volume down, seven+ to go.

I liked the giving issue because I think giving is fun. It’s good to remember that you shouldn’t give for altruistic reasons, and you should give of yourself whenever possible. Even if you don’t have money (something I tend to feel now that my income is sporadic–though it’s not entirely true. I still have more money than a lot of people do, and I shouldn’t hoard mine as much as I do right now), you should give your talents or at least give what you can. A little bit can go a long way for some people. I just need to remember that.

This article did have a great article on this Iowan teacher who taught her students about the evils of racism through a little project where she’d segregate kids based on eye color. Then she’d tell one group that the other was bad. They immediately started in on the discrimination. A couple of days later, she’d do the reverse. It was interesting to read the reactions of the kids being discriminated against and how they hated it, and how it made them aware of all the subtle racist ways we can act.

Although I’m probably more racist than I’d like to believe I am, it’s not something I’m working on at the moment. Still, though, it’s a good eye opener on how we jump on the racist bandwagon.

I thought it would be a breeze to blog this issue, but it still took quite a long time. Nevertheless, I’m glad to be continuing on with my goal.

Even though I try to be grateful in my everyday life, I learned from this issue that I can stand to be even more thankful for the goodness I have and experience. I don’t know if I’ll go so far as to keep a gratitude journal, but I’ll at least try to be more mindful of the gratefulness I feel.

I didn’t write about the Elie Wiesel interview or the article about friends (this was writers/well-known people talking about a certain friendship that’s special to them), but that’s because they just heaped more on the “Be thankful for this” pile.

Now that we’re grateful, we can move on to generosity, next month’s theme. Somehow I don’t think it’s a coincidence those two are together. To me, once you’re grateful for something, you’re so happy that you want others to experience the same greatness, so you’re really more apt to give. Plus, this issue is December, so it’s natural to be more giving around the holidays.

On to being generous!

Well, I’m finished with another issue.  Yes, I skipped more articles–improve your body image was one.  This involves looking in a mirror and complimenting ten specifics about your body.  Repeat with your personality because apparently if you believe how good you are, you’ll carry yourself better.  I’m not sure I need to work on the body image bit because I can look in the mirror and think I’m OK–a bit fat, yes.  But when I get on the scale, I usually can’t believe I weigh as much as I do.

I also skipped talking about the “take more naps” article, probably because I decided to take a nap instead.

Overall though, this issue gives me more to think about and work on.  Although I have some confidence, I need to be more confident in my writing and know that if I keep working, I’ll get that break.  That’s the main thing to work on here.  I guess I’ll add it to the list.  I also need to stop reading these articles that talk to women who are in not-so-good relationships and wonder if they’re talking to me.  I am in a good relationship and I know it.  I don’t need to start second-guessing that!

I wonder if these issues will stop feeling so heavy at some point.  It sure would feel nice to think that I don’t have more to work on!

Issue 4 is in the bag, so I feel like I’m on a roll.  I haven’t compared how I’m doing based on the calendar and how much time I have left to finish all the issues, but right now I feel good.

It’s another issue chock-full of information–I’ve got a bunch of bookmarks marking things I need to write about.  The theme this time is “Trust Yourself,” so the theme-based articles are about trusting your gut.  The interesting thing is that only five of the articles in the magazine deal with this theme.  The other articles fit into different categories:  Live Your Best Life, Style, Beauty, Great Food (chocolate chip macaroons!  I may have to make these!), Minding Your Body, Features, and In Every Issue.

This is the first time I’ve noticed this, so I’ll have to look and see how other themes stack up.  The whole theme idea sets this magazine apart from others, and I wonder if some themes are tougher to do than others.

Still, this issue has a lot of good stuff, so I hope you’re interested in finding out if it’s useful.  Celebrity interview?  Sidney Poitier.  I probably won’t talk about it much–the man carries himself so well and has incredible character.  I can usually hope that most days I’m not a big doofus.  Getting from doofus to Poitier is a feat that is more than this magazine can help with.  That I know for sure.