Since I’ve decided to get rid of the Oprahs, I’m not going to write as much about them.  I just want to plug through them.  I’d thought about keeping track of the O Lists, because it’s interesting to see just how much money one would spend if you bought everything on the list; however, it takes a long time to write it all out and link everything (for those of you who write/blog, you know what I’m talking about–it’s amazing how long writing takes), so I’m just going to touch briefly on it.

I made this decision because the December O List is long so that you have a lot of options for the holidays.  It’s really long.  And O does try to keep the prices down–nothing’s over $100 (save a Visa gift card, which can go up to $250, but you can’t really count that).  Yet even though there’s an effort to help people watch their budgets, there are still things like 2 dozen brownies for $71.  I can’t imagine spending that much on brownies, even if it’s the holidays.

Anyway, the December 2008 issue is all about “Happier Holidays,” which means the first half is stuff, stuff, stuff, and the last half is the reason for the season.  It’s that ironic way of thinking that we seem to do well in America, but whatever.  What’s great about this issue though is that two original features are back:  “Breathing Space” (which may have returned in November, but I haven’t read that issue yet) and the O interview.  Interesting, don’t you think?  It’s nice to have those two features back because they really helped set the magazine apart.  We’ll see if January keeps them.

Hey there–sorry I’ve been gone for a while.  I went on vacation last week (well, it was helping people move across country, but when you have no income, that counts as vacation), and before that I was trying to get my act together and get a little bit of writing/submitting done.  I’m coming up on a three month goal list that I’m not doing terribly well at, which means I need to put my nose to the grindstone a little bit more and get some stuff written.

Anyway, it’s good to be back, and I’m hoping to whiz through the rest of the July issue (August is due in my mailbox any day now).   First up, the July O List:

• one pound of Cundy Harbor, Maine, lobster salad and six split-top rolls:  $85
• handpainted ladybug chocolates:  $34 for 12
• beach blanket/towel from Scoop Beach:  $185
• cutlery caddy:  $42
• Bobby Flay terracotta tray:  $15
• Merriam-Webster leather-bound dictionary:  $156
• Creative Living roll-up beach mat:  $25
• Bensimon rubber-soled canvas shoes:  $70/pair
• Corazona’s heart-healthy oat tortilla chips:  $6.50 for 2-7 oz. bags

Your grand total for July 2008:  $618.50

One feature I think I’ll still continue to comment on is The O List. I know I probably get a little snarky about it, but since I don’t have much money, it makes me feel better to say, “You paid how much for that???” However, I’m sure that if I had Oprah’s money, I wouldn’t really think about how much stuff really cost either. A pair of $500 shoes? No big deal! Ah, the spectrum of wealth, no?

Anyway, here’s this month’s list:

• Waterproof loafers from Tamara Henriques: $75
• Blue suede bag from Lucky Brand Jeans: $168 (no longer at their website)
• Carafe and cup set from Design Within Reach: $62 (no longer at their website)
• Sweet & Salted nuts from Fortunuts: $10 for 5 oz. of walnuts, $7 for 2 oz. of pecans)
• Onesie in a Can from Love, Me: $20
• Sally Russell polka-dot napkins and platter: $26 for four napkins, $90 for platter (though if you click the link, they’re actually $70 now)
• Together Book photo album: $30 a book, $25 for optional text stamping, $40 for slipcase
• Clothes hangers that bend: $17 for eight
• Huge printed rubber bands: $7 for two
• Fish shaped dishes by Vietri: $23 for small plate, $27 for bowl, $32 for luncheon plate

If you bought everything, it would run you $659 ($683.79 in today’s dollars).

Now that the economy’s heading south again, I wonder if The O List feature will change at all. Actually, I can look through other issues and see if it did during the Internet bust. Though I think this time is different–at least with the last bust, you could get equity out of your homes, but it seems as though that’s all dried up and we’re back at square one, just with more debt.

I digress. Why worry about debt and the economy when we could own these cute things?

Saladarini 1882 beach bag: $75

Silk ties by Kwame Jackson (you know him from Season 1 of “The Apprentice”): $75 each

Oxo magnetic push pins: $7 for eight

Corn Maiden Foods gourmet tamales: starts at $22 per dozen

USB port chain: $22

Vinturi red wine aerator: $40

Goose Rocks Designs wind chime: $75

Roberta Roller Rabbit cotton canvas cocktail napkins: $40 for six

Hogan satin flats: $265

Your grand total for this month? $621. All things considered, that seems like a lower total than usual. In fact, it’s the second-lowest total I’ve looked at so far. Could all of that Eckhardt Tolle reading be having an effect?

The first part of this month’s O List is devoted to your four-legged friends, mainly dogs. I know people spend a lot of money on their pets–and this has been a trend for the past several years–but I just can’t relate. I don’t own any pets because my building doesn’t allow dogs, and I’m not a cat person. So let me just marvel at how it’s possible to spend a fortune on stuff for dogs.

The last part is mainly loungewear, and it’s all out of my budget.  The luxury I can hardly imagine!

• The Company Store pet bed: $103
• Burberry dog sweater: $155
• Fifi & Romeo dog raincoat: $102
• Optima dog picnic hamper: $215
• Parness dog shampoo: $20
• Jim Dratfield’s Petography (professional photography): from $995
• Beastly Furnishings chaise lounge (made to order): $515
• Armand Diradourian pashmina PJs: $700
• Godiva caramel-nut bouchees (chocolate turtles): $33/pound
• Souls Nusuede travel slippers:  $65
• Souls Nusuede travel blanket:  $150
• Lucini Premium Select olive oil with Mary Judge dipping dish:   $25
• Takashimaya faux-fur throw:  $795
• Henri Bendel  The Wizard of Oz snow globe:  $50
• Malo cashmere slippers:  $433
• Malo cashmere baby booties:  $143

Grand total:  $4499 ($5137 today)

Wowsa!  It is a longer list than usual, but even for Christmas gifts, a lot of this stuff is just way out of my reach.  Maybe someday an $800 blanket will be pennies to me.  Maybe.

There are days when I can’t comprehend how much money Oprah must have.  I understand rich, but I can’t wrap my brain around the uber-rich.  I wonder what it’s like to have so much, and I wonder if you fear losing it all.  And by “losing it all,” I mean doing a lot of shopping.  Let me explain further with this month’s O List:

Burberry bag:  $430

Burberry shoes:  $245

Laura Mercier Holiday Set lip compact:  $45

We Live Like This 2:  body lotion–$20, shower gel–$19, soap–$8

Ugg boots:  $165  (Ah, the beginning of the Uggs trend!)

Shaneen Huxham leather gloves:  from $115

PJ’s 2 Go pajamas:  $160

Michaelangelo:  The Sistine Chapel book:  $35

This month’s total:  $1,242 ($1418.24 today)

Back to my uber-rich musing:  Oprah loved the Uggs so much that she bought 320 pairs for her staff.  That cost her $52,800.   In 2000, I believe my annual salary was less than that.  Being able to ever give that much money toward a gift–and this sounded like a random gift–seems like it would totally be impossible to me.  I’d like that situation to change, but I’d also like a glimpse into the financial life of someone who makes way more money than I do, just to see how they function.

On the flip side, I know that when I had a regular paycheck, there were ways I acted financially that would make somebody who earned less than me wonder how I did it.  Most of that involved eating out a fair amount or being more generous at Christmas (or taking vacations, which I won’t be doing for a while).

Still though, what’s it like to be so wealthy?  It must be fun to not have to bat an eyelash to buy these things, but having everybody and their brothers ask you to donate to every cause would be really tiring.

Thank goodness for The O List to take all the heaviness away! I’ve skipped over a few articles I thought about mentioning–a Sally Field essay where she talks about career transitions and being afraid and sometimes you just have to take that first little step, and the rest kind of works itself out.

I also skipped talking about an article where a life coach helped three women with total life makeovers. It was interesting to see examples of everything that’s been said before: What do you want to do? What are you doing? Are there smarter moves you could be making to really get yourself to where you want to be? (and get the distractions out of your life–and don’t create new ones!). It was nice to see some concrete examples of how to put these ideas into place.

Oprah also had an “A ha moment” right before she recommended these items. It was about when she auditioned for “The Color Purple,” hadn’t heard, and decided the director didn’t want to cast her because of the way she looked, so she tried to lose a bunch of weight. While trying to lose weight, she realized she couldn’t make someone want her, so it didn’t matter if she got the part. She would still be OK. That was the a ha moment: Self-worth isn’t defined by “outside circumstances” and others’ expectations. Try your best, and that’s enough.

But why talk about all of this helpful stuff when we can go shopping? How about buying:

• Takashimaya linens: $25 each
• Lands’ End cashmere robe: $325
• Merrell after-sport shoes: $65
• Takashimaya hand-blown glasses: $58 each
• Laurent du Clos walnut mustard: ~$6
• Williams-Sonoma wine opener: $139
• M&R Trading Company “The Little Colored Girls” plates: $260 for a set of four

This month’s total: $878 ($1003 today).

I’ve got to say though, that the Merrell shoes are money well-spent. I adore Merrell’s–they’re comfortable and give my feet a lot of support (I have some pronation problems and need lots of support). And the wine opener–this was when they first started coming out and were all the rage. Now I think they’re a lot cheaper.

A fairly long list of Oprah’s favorites this month:

• Bellacqua handblown glass votives: $110
• The Parent’s Tao Te Ching: $14
• Tommy Hilfiger quilts: from $165
• Handmade dolls by Cozbi A Cabrera: from $750
• Waterman pen: rollerball, $90; fountain, $120
• Felissimo journal: from $83
• Good Home Company’s grass-scented Laundry Fragrance: $18
• Good Health’s Olive Oil Potato Chips: from $3.50
• Tark’r leatherette pants: $195
• La Mer body serum: $150
• Serendipitea–Magnolia tea, $10; ginger molasses biscuits, $14
• George Winston album: $17
• Ralph Lauren red boots: $525

Grand total: $2264.50 (if you bought both pens) ($2585.83 today)

Whoa. Wow. That’s a load of money. I do like that Oprah admits the Ralph Lauren boots cost as much as the down payment on her first car, but overall, I’m just stunned by the total. I know there’s some “cheap” stuff in there, but how big is the bag of potato chips? I look at that and think, “Well, those sound good. I might try them.” But I know that if I got to the store, and it was $3.50 for a 1-2 serving bag, I wouldn’t buy it.

I’d buy the book though. There’s always money for books (I see where my priorities lie)!

I do know that there’s hopefully something in here for everyone, and that you’re not meant to buy the entire list (I’m not into collectible dolls, so there’s no worries of me buying that).  I just think it’s interesting to add it all up.

Here’s what’s on Oprah’s list for this month:

Givenchy short hosiery: $12

Hand-painted Scott Potter dessert plates: $125 each

Donna Karan Intimates nightshirt: $150

l.a. vie l’orange body lotion: $25

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle: $22

JoyCam by Polaroid: $25

Hat by Anne Moore: $185

Gap flip-flops: $10-13

Oprah’s total: $554-557 (about $632 in today’s dollars)

This month seems more reasonable–still expensive to me, but it’s nice that Oprah will buy reasonably priced things. I myself wouldn’t consider the PJ’s, but I might pick up the book or the flip-flops.  The body lotion today is actually $3 cheaper today.  The hose doesn’t seem to be available anymore.

If you run a business, getting the Oprah Seal of Approval can mean you hit the jackpot.  People go crazy and buy whatever she says, and sometimes I don’t understand how a regular person can spend money like Oprah can spend money.  Oprah can spend a lot of money–she earns a lot.  Me?  Not so much.  But thanks to The O List feature, I can spend like Oprah too.

Here’s what’s on the list this month:

Tote Le Monde bags:  $35-37

Cherry Pie pajamas:  $110

Fendi sunglasses:  $170  [an aside:  I just paid $20 for sunglasses at Walgreens, and I splurged on the fancy pair.  Two totally different worlds]

Astucci silk sunglasses case:  $16

Lampe-Fleur (liquid candles) by Sarut NYC:  $40 and up

Red Envelope Gifts Online’s breakfast-in-bed kit:  $95  [item is either discontinued or cheaper now]

Burberry dog collar:  $85

Burberry dog leash:  $140

Ralph Lauren gingham mules:  $250

Rocket eBook:  $199

Oprah’s total:  $1,140 (and that’s in 2000…I believe it’s about $1,328 in today’s dollars)