OK, since I seem to be slipping up a bit on getting the rest of this issue blogged (oh, it’s been read for a couple of days, but I can’t get around to blogging it), I’m going to do a recap of what I thought of the last half of the magazine:

• It makes me laugh to see all the recommended stuff on The O List, and then on the next page, there starts another round of “here’s more stuff to buy, even if it’s not on Oprah’s list.” It’s the style section, and it’s got this headline, “Look What We Found!” which made me wonder, did they really find it, or did they just have a lot of x on hand and decided to write about it. I don’t know how magazines work, and I’m curious. Besides, you just got through what Oprah found….do you have to get through what the staff found too?
• There’s an interesting, humorous article on body image that suggests instead of the BMI, using the PBII (Personal Body Image Index) which recommends gauging yourself on how you feel. The purpose is really to help you get over your hang-ups and enjoy your body as it is at the moment. If you’re relatively thin, yet think you’re fat, 30 years down the road, you might look at yourself and marvel at how thin you were back then. And what did you think back then? You were unhappy with yourself. An interesting concept–another way to try to live in the moment.
• Books of Summer? I have too many on my shelf to get into the new books of summer (except the David Sedaris. I’m reading that one right now).
• “Men! What Are You Thinking?!” The themed section is a group of eight short articles written by men in an attempt to explain themselves. There’s the FAQs (“What do you like most about us?”), the crazy things men think up, what they think of fatherhood, men secrets (“Sometimes we don’t open up because we are afraid of what we will find.”), men’s war stories, men and violence, how men and women differ, men and dancing. While they’re somewhat interesting, I couldn’t help but think the articles said what men wanted us to hear. I think I get more about men when I read Esquire.
• There’s an article about 54 ways to say no–mostly it’s in specific situations (dinner companions asking for a bite of your meal, social hugs, etc.). They’re pretty decent. What I didn’t expect was the companion piece, “The Year of Saying Yes!” by Patricia Volk, who I just adore. Hooray! Patricia was apparently good at saying no, and her friend accuses her of not really pushing the boundaries of life, not really living. So Patricia decides to say yes to every offer that comes up, like introducing a film at a film festival, teaching writing for a semester, going on a blind date. By the end of the article she doesn’t regret saying yes to anything she’s said yes to. “The change has to do with the joy of being available to chance. There is a thrilling difference between being comfortable and being too comfortable.” Well said, Ms. Vollk, and with your usual wonderful writing style. Did I mention that I love this writer’s O articles? One of these days I’ll have to read her books.
• Helicopter parents. This is one of those phenomenon that I do not understand. Why do you want to be that wrapped up in your child’s life that you do basically everything for them? The article said it was a rebellion from Gen X latchkey kids, but I don’t really think so. I think it’s easier to live vicariously through someone else’s life rather than make your own. A lot of women have bought into this competitive parenting, and the results aren’t going to be good (although I didn’t have a helicopter mother, I was told what to do on certain occasions when it would have been more beneficial to allow me to explore and do the work myself. I see that now that I’m an adult.)
• What does Oprah know for sure? She’s still excited about her decision to choose Eckhardt Tolle’s book A New Earth for her book club/class experience. She’s excited that people are living more in the moment (or say they’re living more in the moment) and experiencing more spirituality because of it.
• What does Jill know for sure? Well, I’m glad to be finished with another issue. I’m still trying to get a better balance of how to do this blog. Does one big entry like this work? Or would it be better to separate this a bit more? I’ll keep playing with it, but it’s certainly a relief to be done blogging this issue in one fell swoop!

August 2008 is “True Life Stories,” so I’ll read it, then go back to these other men issues. Onward!

UPDATED TO ADD:  A half-hour after I posted this, I realized the July 2008 issue doesn’t have an O Interview in it!  There doesn’t seem to be one in the August 2008 issue either?  This is definitely odd.  I wonder if there’s a reason, or if this is just a little vacation and it’s happened before.  Anyone know?

In the success issue there’s an article I was kind of reluctant to write about because I don’t know how much I can get from it.  It’s about work consultant Ronna Lichtenberg and her seminars called “Investing in Me, Inc.“  In the article, she takes a group of women through her seminar.  Their experiences and the exercises they go through should help you as well.

If I hadn’t gone through a seminar earlier this year called “Ten Steps to Getting Your S*it Together,” this article would be more useful.  However, the GYST methods really spoke to me (I guess the crassness of it helped), and it contained a lot of the same information.

However, it probably doesn’t hurt to have another take on it, seeing as how I constantly need to be on top of my career.  Here’s a brief look at the three exercises:

1. “Imagine Your Ideal Working Day” –everything from time of day, where you’re at, what you’re doing, your compensation, etc.
2. “Relationship Inventory”–for everyone you regularly work with, categorize them as an energizer, perfectly fine, or a drain.  Figure out how much time and energy you spend talking to/about and thinking about these people.  Spend less time and with the drains and more with those who energize your career.
3. “Making It Happen”–This one is a lot of talk about marketing.  Who’s your target market?  (even if you’re just looking for a job, this way of thinking should help)  How often do you communicate with your target market, and what marketing materials do you need?  And, “what skill do you most need to improve in the next 18 months?  How will you accomplish this?”

These are all really things to continually think about, plan for, and develop.  The hard thing is making time to do this work, but it’s just something you have to make time for.  The GYST method proposes having a weekly business meeting (even if you’re a business of one like myself).  So I do that.  My first one was long because I was thinking about short and long-term goals, but now they’re relatively short.  I spend time looking at what I’ve done over the last week, what I’ve got coming up for this week, and how am I doing on my upcoming goals.  It’s really helpful–and will hopefully help me be more successful.   The exercises here–especially the marketing ones–also seem useful, and I’ll work on them in my next staff meeting.

Instead of doing one O Interview this month, Oprah talks to four different women (“phenomenal women”) about self-esteem: Toni Morrison, Gloria Steinem, Christiane Amanpour, and Marion Jones. It’s interesting to have the four different takes–these women aren’t psychological experts, but they are successful, and being successful does take a bit of self-esteem. You’ve got to believe in yourself to do great things….well, and maybe take steroids.

[Oh, I know--Oprah had no clue that Marion Jones was using illegal substances, but after the way she lit into James Frey for stretching the truth in his memoir, Marion would be smart to stay far away from Oprah's show when she gets out of prison.]

Oprah picked these four women because she feels they are all women who are “in full possession” of themselves. They’ve figured out who they were meant to be and became that person–and they did so not getting bogged down in what other people thought of them. Let’s see what they all have to say about self-esteem.

Toni Morrison: She says she really can’t define self-esteem, but she does say she feels like nobody is the boss of her (and personally, I think that’s part of it. If you feel you have to measure up to someone else’s standards, then someone else is the boss of you, no?). Another good quote:

This is life–this is it. If you want to make it trifling, that’s a choice. That makes me sound glib, but life doesn’t come here in a little package marked HERE’S YOUR WORTHY LIFE. GO GET HAPPY. It comes with seom intricate, interesting work to be done. At some point between 6 and 13, you have to either wake up or put yourself to sleep. And everthing is designed to encourage spiritual and mental sleep. You shut down and start buying stuff.

Morrison comes across as kind of a tough love/don’t wallow in yourself person, and after reading the Constructive Living article, I’m a little inclined to be tougher on myself. OK, I get to wallow a short bit, but pick up and move on because I know I’m OK.

In regards to my feeling this project isn’t “as good” as Living Oprah’s (she’s living Oprah for 1 year), I can’t really think about that. And lately I haven’t been. I’ve been focused on making progress with this project, sending out queries for other articles I want to write, trying to meet people. And that makes me feel much better than curling up on my bed crying that LO got herself another radio interview.

What does Gloria Steinem have to say? She defines self-esteem as:

“valuing the self, but it’s also having a sense of self-authority. It’s not just a feeling; it’s also an ability–and nothing works without it. I find it useful to think of two kinds of self-esteem: One is core self-esteem, the feeling that you are a good person.” (this is basically how you were raised–did your parents love you and all that good stuff) “The other kind is situational self-esteem, which comes from comparing your skills to others’ skills and from being effective in the world. If you don’t have core self-esteem, you can get hooked on situational self-esteem as if it were a drug. But no amount of money or accomplishment is ever big enough because you are lacking at your core.”

So, Gloria, are you saying that if your folks didn’t love you enough when you were a kid, are you basically screwed out of half of your self-esteem as an adult? Because it really sounds like you can’t get that core self-esteem back once it’s gone, the way you’re explaining it.

Needless to say, I’m not liking what Steinem has to say. I’m woefully unknowledgeable about the women’s rights movement, especially in the 1970s. She starts to talk about having self-authority, and I can’t quite figure out how that’s different from self-esteem, but no matter how I read it, it sounds like you can get away with blaming someone else for your crappy life, rather than figure out how to make it better, giving yourself a better self-image.

Maybe reporter Christiane Amanpour has something good to say!

Actually, what I like about her is that here she sounds human, but can describe herself very concisely. She has fear, yet she tries to manage it so she can work. Oprah points out that most people don’t go into war zones the way she does, and Amanpour concedes that; however, she tries to stretch herself because you don’t really know what you’re capable of doing until you try. On self-esteem, she says:

It’s something that you grow up to recognize. I define it as knowing who I am, what I’m about, where I fit into the universe, and feeling comfortable and good about myself.

Nice and to the point. She also admits that she has low periods, just like anyone else, and she doubts herself sometimes, but that actually helps her “concentrate my mind and propel me in the direction that I knew I wanted to go.” Overall, an interesting and helpful thought.

So can Marion Jones add anything to this discussion? Not really. Not knowing what we know now. It’s ironic to read that she’s proud of the woman she’s become, and “I’m proud of the woman I am going to become.” What does she think of herself now? Did she really think like this back in 2001, or was she just acting? It’s really kind of sad.

Overall though, after reading this I feel a bit more grounded, more sure of myself. And with every article I read and every entry I write, I feel more sure of myself, who I am, and what I’m doing.

Most of the Dream Big articles are lumped together, to make it easier for you to look at them.  There’s a one-pager on networking and gives some networking organizations to look into.  Another article is short profiles of women who followed their dreams–a “how’d they do that” kind of thing.  I did a quick internet search, and some of those women’s jobs/companies seem to no longer exist.  Not exactly what I want to see, but I understand that not all businesses work out.

Martha Beck has an article on what she calls WIGs–Wildly Improbable Goals, which is interesting, but I don’t know if it helps me in this situation.  The WIG is one of those goals that pops into your head that seems kind of random and unobtainable, but once you key into it and decide to make it happen, you can–that, or be open to random things happening that fulfill your goals.

It’s an interesting article, and making a living from writing certainly is a WIG for me, but I don’t like to think it’s so improbable. It’s hard to explain.  The article does say it takes lots of hard work, which is the mentality boat I’m in now.  It also says that sometimes miracles happen.  This I’m totally open to as well.

The final one-pager is an article I really identified with called “Setting Your Sights Lower” by Stacy Grenrock-Woods.  She writes an interesting piece about yes, you may have distant goals, but the steps to get there can be really basic and easy to accomplish.  Focusing on the small steps–”the smallest, least distracting steps”–will help you get to the bigger goal.

How will all of this work for the LO Dilemma?  Well, I think I need to keep plugging away here like I am doing.  Reading all of the Oprahs can be classified as a WIG, I think (mainly because I think it’s wildly improbable that I’ll finish them all).  Taking them one article at a time is setting my sights lower.  I do need to get word out that I’m actually doing this project, to bring some readership and maybe some other opportunities my way.  How to do that without stressing out?  I think maybe writing up a press release would help (though I think that can be a distressing big step), and then I’d have something in hand that I can show to others to help spread the word.

As Grenrock-Woods puts it, she tries not to get overwhelmed (a whole stay-in-the-present type of approach to her work).  “I’m not an international star, Pulitzer Prize winner, or noted humanitarian, and may never be–but I sure am having fun trying,” she writes.  Although I’d totally love to win big literary prizes (and honestly, I do have them down as long-range goals so that I’m striving toward something…it may never happen, but it keeps me on the path of trying to be excellent–and dream big), this “shoot lower” mindset is helpful because it reminds me to take things a little bit at a time.

Dec. 2000’s calendar is all about giving well. Along with the usual inspirational quotes about giving, here are some tasks to think about this month:

• When you’re giving, what are the intentions behind your actions? Are you giving because you want to, or because you feel obiligated? OK, here’s my one beef (I believe with the entire issue, but that remains to be seen). This is an either/or question, and the answer should be “I give because I want to give.” However, if you do feel obligated to give someone a gift, how do you either change those “should” feelings to “I want to give” feelings or get rid of the “shoulds” altogether? This is one area where I feel I need some help, and simply reading, You should give because you want to, not because you have to, doesn’t help me change my mindset and approach at all. Hopefully this will be answered, but I’m honestly not too hopeful.
• “Call your closest friend right now and name one reason you’re happy to have him or her in your life.” It’s on my list (though I would imagine you also need to have a conversation…you can’t just say, “Yo, I’m happy to have you in my life because of x,” and then hang up the phone).
• When you receive a gift or compliment, just say, “Thank you.” Enjoy that feeling. This is a good one–I don’t know if I’ve read it in Oprah or elsewhere or seen it on TV, but women seem to feel like they have to justify compliments. It’s really funny. Someone tells you your shoes are nice, and you immediately launch into how you found them on sale and the great price you got, like you have to justify why you own something so nice. I started to pay attention to my own behavior and started to just say thank you instead of telling the whole story about why I had said item (which can actually get embarrassing at times). Doing that approach has really made me feel better about myself because I don’t need to justify my actions and prove myself worthy.
• Take some time from the holiday hullabaloo to sit back and think about things you’ve received from other people. This doesn’t need to be reserved for December, I think. It’s nice to remember gifts all year round.
• Give the gift of time. Most of us probably don’t need one more thing in our homes, so offer to spend time with someone or do a favor. This is a nice idea, but I have a few hang-ups from it: Remember when you were a kid, and in school you’d make Mother’s Day coupons so that your mom could redeem them for chores?  My mom never redeemed hers.   Then when I was in 8th grade and had to help with our school’s annual auction, a friend and I offered a day of  housecleaning services.  Somebody paid $115 for it and never called us.  It’s frustrating to offer help, have it accepted, then never used.
• “Give a gift to a person who can never repay you–and do it anonymously.”  That could be fun!

It’s nice to see these ideas in a month that’s not December because I think it’s good to remember to give more often than that.

Issue 4 has a long Oprah-penned article about the Personal Growth Summits she held in the summer of 2000.  Did you go?  I didn’t, but this article summing them up a bit might help me.

Oprah says she believes, “the universe dreams a bigger dream for you than you can dream for yourself.” It’s up to you to figure out what your calling is and do it–and the key is that it doesn’t have to be your job.  You can be a good friend or a supportive partner, but you have to believe this is your calling.

It’s weird as an American to think of your calling not being your job.  Our society is so wrapped up in what we do for a living that it’s difficult to contemplate anything else being worthy of being a calling.  But so be it.

I myself believe I’m supposed to be a writer–communicate feelings through words, connect with and entertain people.   So OK, now what, Oprah?

Write a mission statement.  What?  Really?  According to Oprah, she thinks having a mission statement will help you on the path to who you want to be.  You don’t need to follow it to the tee, but having one will help you see “that there are behaviors you will accept and many you won’t.”  You’ll set standards for yourself that you can then use to decide how to fulfill your calling.

Part of following your calling is getting rid of “the disease to please.”  Another reminder (though I think this one needs to be beaten into my head until I finally get it)!  Pleasing others can make you feel overwhelmed, and it also allows them to define you.  To change that and be your own person, you need to examine the intention behind your actions and make sure you’re doing something (e.g.–a favor) because you want to do it?

Focus is also another key to fulfilling your life’s work.  That makes sense–focus on what you want to do, and after a while you become that type of person.  If every day I create a lot of dishes to wash, I’m going to become more of a dishwasher than a writer, so I have to make sure I keep writing, even on days like today where I’m just not feeling it (and I’m feeling more like you’re saying, “Yep, I don’t know where she gets this whole ‘writer’ idea….this stuff is pretty lame!”).  Soon something will click and I’ll get there.  I’ve got to believe that.

The last page of the article has a box of homework on it.  Great.  More fucking work to do on myself (today I’m also feeling like, “How much do I have to change?  How much is really wrong with me?”).  Here’s what we’re supposed to do:

1. “Write down the major beliefs that have shaped your life.”  There is a God.  Education is everything.  Books open up your world.  Try it–you might like it.  Explore!
2. Do you have any shadow beliefs–things that hold you back like “hidden memories” or “something you heard in childhood”–that continue to plague you to this day?  What are they?  Gosh, there has to be something…there’s a general feeling of insecurity, and I think that comes from being told what to do instead of learning how to make my own choices.  I have this general feeling of, “Am I doing this right?  Is this OK?”
3. What is your calling?  To be a writer.
4. At some point you’re going to have to give up something in order to be able to move ahead (e.g.–your temper, bad attitude, a bad relationship).  What do you need to give up?  Can you start giving it up now?  Focusing on my perception of others.  Letting what happens to others affect my focus, my calling, and my path in life.
5. “What’s important to you?”  Here you’re supposed to make a pie chart and divide it into at least five categories of how you spend your time.  Give time to each area every day and you’ll see a change.  “Whatever you focus on expands.”
6. Write down the names of three people who lift you up and one person you need to remove from your life.  “What will it take for you to do it?”  I’m going to keep this one private.  I doubt anyone would like to hear that I need them out of my life, and if I saw a friend’s list of three people who lifted them up and I wasn’t on it, well, I’d be a little bummed out.  (I know–I don’t need other people to tell me I’m nice/cool, but in my fragile, repair-myself state, I also don’t need to see if I’m not cool)
7. “Cultivating gratitude is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  Write down five things that you’re grateful for today.”  That I could quit my job to focus on my writing.  A good husband.  A roof over my head and plenty to eat.  Wonderful friends.  The ability to dance.

I’ll work on that mission statement and get back to you on it.  I’m not thrilled about doing it, but I should at least try it, seeing as how my old ways haven’t been so successful.

This month’s calendar has tasks to help you trust yourself a little bit more. In looking at the action items to think about, I don’t think I need to worry about them so much. Part of that has to do with my age–I’m in my mid-30s (though I believe that’s part of the target audience). Part of it has to do with the fact that I was single for a long time.

I didn’t date a lot in my early-mid 20s. There were random dates here and there, but I never was good at dating. If I felt in my gut something wrong about the guy or that it wouldn’t work out, the relationship didn’t last beyond date 2 or 3. Why bother being in a relationship you don’t feel good about? Just to be with a guy? That’s just dumb.

Oh, I was open to dating–I wasn’t waiting for the right guy to come in and sweep me off my feet–it’s just that if things didn’t click, I didn’t want to waste a lot of time and emotion about it.

This meant that I spent a lot of time by myself, and if I wanted to do something and no one was able/wanted to come with me, I didn’t stay home. I went out and did it. Going to the movies by myself? Not a big deal. Taking a month-long trip up the West Coast by myself? Fun!

Was it difficult to be alone? Of course–I would’ve loved to have had a boyfriend or husband earlier than I did. At the same time, I’m glad that I don’t have a difficult time being by myself.

What’s more difficult is having people question my decisions. Sometimes it’s out of love and said person wants to make sure I’ve fully vetted an issue, but sometimes it’s because the person doesn’t know me enough, projects their image of me on myself, and therefore comes to a conclusion that I’m wrong. Don’t you hate that? The problem is that it can be really destructive to a person and may actually cause that person not to trust themselves.

Anyway, if you’re having a problem with trusting yourself, here are some exercises to try:

• If you’re struggling with a decision and start to turn to a friend to give you the answer, first sit down and really think about what you feel.
• How do you show others that you trust them? What can you take from that to trust yourself?
• Support yourself by writing down (and believing) three great traits about you.
• Think about your relationship with your best friends? Do you depend on them to fix you? What can you do to rely on yourself instead?
• When have you felt good about going with your gut? Take time to consciously listen to it.

I think these are good things to think about, but like I said, over time I’ve learned that only a person can change themselves. That rule applies to yourself too.

Sigh.  Oprah’s kick-off to this month’s issue isn’t good news for an American who wants some instant gratification.  Change, she says, isn’t like getting a makeover.  To make a real change, you really need to decide who you want to be.  She differentiates who you are from what you do or how you look and says that when you figure out who you are, then it’ll be easier to do what you want to do.

Does that make sense?  Oprah illustrates this by saying she wants to be someone “who keeps her word.”  If she’s this type of person, she’s prone to sticking to her exercise routine.  This take is interesting because she says she used to pray for discipline so that she’d continue to exercise.  However, when she decided to be a person who keeps her word, it became easier to get the exercise in.

Who do I want to be?  Hmmmm….that’s a difficult question.  It’s taking out the “what you want to do” bit.  I kind of equate myself with being a writer.  But that’s exactly what Oprah recommends not doing.   I’ll think about it and get back to you–by the time I’m done writing about this issue.

I like Oprah because on some levels I can relate to her–or I feel that she can relate to me.  I like the fact that I know she’s human, and she’s willing to admit her flaws in front of millions.  She constantly says that she’s a work in progress, and I’m like that too.  I don’t understand why we tend to put celebrities (or royalty, or world leaders) up on these pedestals, as if they are perfect.  Understanding that they’re human and have flaws and make mistakes and do stupid things is comforting to me.  It lets me know that I can be successful without having to be perfect.

In this month’s “Let’s Talk” column, Oprah talks about “the a-ha lightbulb moment” in her life.  She said it was when she “figured out that my thoughts control my whole life–that no matter what hadn life deals me, I can always choose my response to it.”  She continues, “We are each responsible for our lives and, more important, the thought that create them.  If you want your life to be more rewarding, you have to change the way you think.”  She goes on to talk about how she felt she had to control everything.  Once she let up and “let people be,” things got better and life was more enjoyable.

She also talks about changing the way she thought about her job.  She switched from thinking it was a “job” and she was the “talent” and instead tried to think of television as a vehicle for expressing herself and topics she felt needed to be discussed.  And hey, her work life became a passion.

I come from a controlling background.  I remember asking a friend who got married much earlier than I did how she dealt with things like which way the toilet paper hung or if the towels were folded correctly.  She told me that stuff didn’t matter.  I couldn’t understand how that was possible until years later, when I was in my own relationship and realized that it was a partnership–not me doing all the work, dictating how things were to be done, and then being miserable about it.  It makes that aspect of life much easier.

One of the harder thought patterns I personally have to deal with is discouragement.  I tend to get down on myself a lot.  Is that because I’m fishing for a compliment?  Trying to put myself down so that I won’t even try?  Paint myself into a little box?  It’s something I’ve got to work on.  I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.

I forgot to take a look at this month’s calendar before I dove into Dr. Phil and Suze Orman. I suppose old habits die hard–whenever the magazine arrived, I’d read their columns first, then put the magazine away to read later (I didn’t realize it would be almost eight years later). So let me backpedal a bit and look at the calendar.

This month the magazine tries to help you “know the power of your thoughts.” I actually think the “know” part of this is important.  To me, it’s the “baby-step” approach:  If you want to change how you think, you need to be aware of how you’re thinking in the first place.  Otherwise you won’t be able to make any sustainable changes.

In the calendar, there are seven different activities to do during the month to help you along this path.  They ask you to understand the power of words and pay attention to how you use them.  Pay attention to the effect your words have. It’s kind of the “think before you speak” saying, which is what I think they might be going for.

Next, you should work on replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts, and the exercise here is to take a negative thought that you often have, write it down, and then write its opposite.  Take that positive thought and start thinking it instead of the negative one you use.  This one I try to do–when I can remember it.  When I’m having a bad day and am pretty down on myself, it is really hard to try to pull myself up, but I hope that somehow changing the thoughts will keep me from going to that bad place.

Some things to do are simple:  Think about someone you love and send them some positive vibes.  If you’ve got a good idea, put it into action.  Those to me seem fairly easy to do–or they don’t really force me to change myself, which is nice.  “Recall a time when you felt unfairly treated.  Ask yourself:  What did I do to create that circumstance?  Did I trust foolishly?  Did I fail to ask for what I wanted?”  That’s a bit more difficult.  I think that this one is more about not letting yourself get walked on.  If you’re a pushover, you’ll get taken advantage of.  That’s not to say you need to be aggressive, but you do need to stand up for yourself.  I’m working on that, and there are times where I’m successful, but boy, does it feel weird to not be complacent and say, “Yes, whatever you want is fine with me.”

The last two thoughts are tied together somewhat.  One is, “Notice how your mind works.  What preoccupies you?  What do you avoid?  How much time do you focus on yourself?  How often do you think of others?”  As much as I love to write, I tend to procrastinate actually sitting down and doing it.   I let myself get preoccupied by chores and television and other random thoughts.  I think about others a lot–actually, I make assumptions about others a lot.  Then I fixate on these assumptions and let those take over instead of focusing on what I want to do and taking care of a goal.  I know that’s stupid–I know it.  I’ve got to learn how to just sit down and get things done, writing-wise (actually, it would help if I read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott, which Diane Sawyer talks about in the favorite books section this issue.  It’s about writing and basically tells you to take things step-by-step.  I have it on my shelf–started reading it a couple of years ago and never finished it), and I can’t let my assumptions take hold of me.

The last idea distinguishes between thoughts that lift you up and drag you down, and it tells you to notice the two types.  This week I’ve had both types–I couldn’t tell you specifics…well, I got an idea for an article or two that I think would sell, and that made me happy.  Sitting down and doing the work of selling the idea…that’s weighing me down a bit, but I think if I tell myself that I can do it, I’ll succeed.