Hey!  There’s a new post here!  What gives?  Where’ve you been, Jill?

Well, let’s just say that my freelance writing career is tougher than I thought it would be, and it’s moving slower.  I’m doing a lot of looking for work, a lot of starting projects that I believe it, and a lot of free work (or, if you want to put it nicely, I’m getting more exposure by helping out some websites I write for).  Granted, this work may pay off some day in one way or another, so I’m not really complaining.  I’m just saying that I’ve been doing other stuff instead of this project.

But Jill, you might say, this project is also interesting.  It has an end.  It could lead into something.  Yeah, it could, but I’d have to overcome many of my shortcomings to make it happen, and I’m trying to weigh the benefits of that.  I don’t even know if this project would help me be the sort of writer I want to be.  This is more academic, and I’m not so analytical and able to stick with replicating the same task over and over again in a grand social experiment.  This project also turned out to be a lot more massive than I thought.  Not because reading a stack of magazines is difficult, but because writing about them takes forever.  And even though I tried to go more quickly, I still haven’t managed to get a handle on it.  I read every other magazine that comes in, and I still put O on the stack to be savored later.

And that to me says something.  It says that I don’t really value the O’s enough.  If I really cared about it, I’d make this magazine a priority.  I’d read it first.  I’d jump at the chance to read it.  But I don’t.  Isn’t that a sign?  If I don’t use it, why do I keep it around?

The other thing I’m tired of is the slight pressure to be “the girl with all the O Magazines.”  It’s not something I feel all the time, but occasionally I’ll mention that I’m thinking about getting rid of them because I’m tired of the clutter and I don’t read them.  I’ll hear back, You can’t get rid of them!  You have every one!  So?  What good is that in the long run?  I have a bunch of magazine boxes crammed full, more in a magazine basket, and more on the way.  And I live in a one bedroom apartment (large, yes, but still).  Where do I store these?  Do I have to move these?  Why do I have to be the keeper of the O?

And I’ve decided that I don’t need to be that person anymore.  I don’t want to be kept by my stuff–which is actually something Oprah and frequent guest Peter Walsh talk about a lot.  And something that I don’t value because I don’t use it isn’t something I want to keep.

The first step I’ve taken is ending my subscription.  I know.  I was a subscriber from day one, and I think the first move I need to make is to prevent them from coming in anymore.  [I'm actually stopping almost all of my magazine subscriptions--I get about 12 magazines now--and I'll play catch up before I decide to start any of them again.]  Then I’ll read what I’ve got—maybe then I can blog a little more about it without having the pressure to read other magazines too.  I’ll see if I can continue on this project, but it may be that the magazines go.

I haven’t decided what to do with them.  Most are in fine condition, but my apartment does get a lot of sun, so most of them are sun damaged in some way.  There’s always magazines for sale on eBay, so I really doubt it would be worth the effort to put all of these up there.  If you want an issue, we can work out an arrangement (that will involve money paid via PayPal–probably $1/issue plus shipping via Media Mail and handling costs–so figure $7/issue).  Just e-mail me and let me know which issue you’re interested in obtaining (and please, don’t try to talk down the costs.  I’m a struggling writer.  I’m not going to spend money sending you something for nothing, when I’m hardly making any money as it is.  I hate to have to even say that, but I feel like it’s necessary).  Otherwise, I’ll see if a local charity wants them, or maybe just even recycle them.

At any rate, I’ve decided that living my best life might be better off without this magazine in it, and I think I need to see if that’s the right decision.

I have days where I feel down (like today) and I get a nudge from someplace reminding me that I haven’t been working on this project very much at all.  It’s like the vacation photos that have piled up or dishes that need to be washed (though obviously, the dishes get taken care of first).  And every once in a while I remember, Oh, yeah, I’m not really making much progress, am I?

I suppose I’ll have to go back to baby steps and take it one article at a time, one issue at a time.  Which I’ll try to do.  I’d also like to not think of this as a chore, something that I’ve put off doing for years, but as an opportunity to grow.  Yeah.  That sounds better!

I’m hoping to get back in the saddle soon, not because more issues keep piling up in my magazine basket, but because I have to renew my subscription soon.  I’m really on the fence about that.  The August issue has more editorial changes, and it looks less and less like the O I was excited about subscribing to, and more like any other women’s magazine.  If it didn’t have Oprah on the cover, I might not be able to recognize it.

I’m presently in one of those funks where I feel that if I bring up anything, it not only gets shot down right away, but it’s probably also held against me at some point.  This is very anti-Oprahish thinking, I know, because I don’t know what other people think, and I shouldn’t let my feelings and emotions be controlled by this imagined behavior.  This is a roundabout way of saying that if I wrote in to the magazine to complain about the loss of the “Breathing Space” feature, they’d probably say that feature was stale, the magazine was stale and needed to be spruced up.  Focus groups demanded the changes.  You know, add more pat answers and instant solutions, don’t make us think too much.  Heaven forbid we think and ponder and reflect at all.  That apparently isn’t the way to live your best life.

I noticed a consultant listed on the masthead of the August issue.  I’m not saying this is all her fault, but I wonder why she’s there.  I wonder if my magazine is going down the tubes.  I wonder if I need it anymore.

Uh oh.  The August Oprah came in today’s mail.  That means I really need to get on the horn and get July done.  But I’ve been working on some network building, meaning I’m trying to maximize the MySpace profile.  If you want to be buddies, just holler!

I kind of like looking at the latest issue–that way, if some part of it interests you, you can still go out and buy it. Therefore, next up is July 2008: Men! What Are They Thinking? Plus, summer reading recommendations.

Men is a popular topic with O Magazine. It’s been covered three times previously, so it’ll be interesting to compare all four issues and see what they say. Will anything contradict itself? Once you read all four issues, will you need any other information? We shall see.

Yesterday, ANOTHER issue of Oprah showed up in my mailbox.  I felt pretty frustrated–although I did get through the June 2008 issue just fine in the allotted time, I haven’t made much progress on the back issues.  I think the way I approach this blog has to change.  Otherwise I’ll never finish this project.

I’m just about done reading the April 2006 Beauty issue, which is good because I hopefully can start blogging it before I’m done with all the June 2008 posts (i.e.–no big gap in days before I post again).  However, the reading isn’t the hard part.  It’s the writing–that takes up an incredible amount of time, and blogging the issue can take me a couple of weeks.  I also can’t really focus on this because I have to work on writing that I can sell.  This is the “hobby” part of my life.

So I’ve got to make a few changes.  I won’t go to the other extreme and write one entry per magazine, the way Glossed Over does (but she covers many magazines, whereas I’m only looking at one.  Still, I have a lot of issues to look at).  I think though, I’ll write about what parts of the magazine help me–and that may mean I skip Dr. Phil, or I’ll condense the advice columns into one bigger post.  If the magazine, or the majority of it, doesn’t help, then there will probably be fewer posts.

At any rate, I’m trying to figure out a way to make this project more manageable and doable.  There’s something else I can add to my list of personal issues I need to work on.

Thanks for riding along and dealing with all the tweaks!

Well, I’m done with another issue. I’m still struck by all the change that’s going on in O-land. Lots more advice dispensed–I didn’t even get into the advice panel, style q&a, beauty q&a, health/food advice, and relationship questions. It’s as if all we want now are the answers to life’s problems. Somebody, just tell us what to do!

However, I don’t really think that’s a good attitude toward really fixing your problems. As lousy as it seems and as long as it takes, you really do have to go through a mind shift. There’s an interesting article about actress Cynthia Nixon and how she learned to speak up for herself. For most of her life, she wouldn’t disagree or argue a point unless she felt passionate enough about the topic and felt she could win the argument. Well, that doesn’t work so well because then there are things you really care about but don’t say anything because you won’t win. You think the other person will intuitively know what you’re thinking and feeling and act appropriately. Ha! She changed the way she felt when her relationship fell apart and she had to work out child custody issues. Even though her ex felt passionately about the situation, she knew she just couldn’t let him do whatever. She had to speak up. Since then, she’s been better about speaking up, and her life’s improved–she no longer resents people for actions they didn’t know upset her. And she knows that you don’t have to win every argument.

That took years and years to learn–not something that we in our instant gratification society want to hear, but sometimes that’s the best and only way to learn something. Especially when we’re trying to undo bad habits. Maybe it’s just me–I like hearing the stories of people who’ve figured out a way to improve themselves. I like the journey. It’s difficult to change a behavior and it takes time. Just having an answer to a question makes me feel like you’re supposed to be able to change in an instant–a paragraph, as opposed to a 1000 word article. But it’s not that simple.

What do I know about beauty? Beauty is unconventional. I don’t like how fashion magazines make you feel like you have to look like a model. But sometimes they’ll show behind-the-scenes at photo shoots, and you see how clothes are cinched and tied on and aren’t really fitting in the first place. That’s helpful. I also don’t find a ton of models to be actually pretty. They may take a good photo or wear clothes well, but beautiful? Not always. And I don’t want to look like that. I’d rather look more interesting.

I also didn’t get into the Maria Shriver interview. It’s another one of those, “This famous person is my good friend,” interviews, which at first was a turn-off, but then I had to change my mind because Maria and Oprah both worked together at the same news station when they were in their twenties. That was interesting. Maria didn’t have friends outside of her family, which, seeing as how I’m not close to my family, was also interesting. But as interesting as Maria’s story was to read, I don’t think it gave me any aha moments about my own life, hence the reason I didn’t blog about it.

So, I’m done with another issue. Roiled by the changes, but I’ll go with the flow for now. Oh, one more change I just noticed: no pull out cards with quotes on them! Yes, there was a page with inspirational quotes you could tear out and hang up, but that seems to have gone by the wayside as well. Is it a change I miss? Well, I’m not that into inspirational quotes, but I know Oprah’s big on them. I’m surprised they’re gone–is this magazine becoming less Oprah-centric? Perhaps I’ll figure that out over time.

I was trying to think about what else was different with this issue–something was missing, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. A couple of hours later, I realized the “Something To Think About” questions are gone.

Blow me over!

As a casual reader, I’m glad this feature is gone because I hated answering the questions. I didn’t like thinking about issues, and I didn’t want to probe whatever problem needed fixing. But sometimes not wanting to is not the right answer when it comes to fixing yourself.

Thinking about this from the perspective of the project, I’m a little saddened. This was one of the features that set this magazine apart and kept it to the idea of a self-help mag. I’m not sure why they got rid of it–I’m hoping one of the other issues explains the reason, but in a way, this move makes O more like any other magazine on the rack.

A couple of days ago, the New York Times reported that O’s circulation has declined over ten percent in the last three years. Why has this happened? Is it lost love for Oprah? Is it that the magazine has changed? What do long-time subscribers think? Or is it fancy massaging of the data by a reporter who wants to make a splash with a story?

I looked at the subscription numbers at the Magazine Publishers of America website. If you look at the Average Subscription Circulation numbers for Oprah (they have so many years of data, that you can actually pull the full run), you get these numbers (sorry they’re a little difficult to read):

Year——Subscriptions paid/verified—— % change

2007 ——-1,558,637 ——————-5.3%

2006——-1,480,747——————— .1%

2005——-1,478,795——————-(14.6)%

2004——-1,731,427———————8.2%

2003——-1,600,197———————3.3%

2002——-1,548,568——————-(10.5)%

2001——-1,730,423——————-109.9%

2000———824,362

Yes, the reporter’s facts are true–an average of 10% decline over the last three years. But that’s really one year of sharp decline and two years of slight growth. The more interesting picture is that after the launch year, they had great subscription numbers, and then that suddenly declined. What happened in 2001 that made people not want to renew their subscriptions? Was the magazine not what they thought it would be? Was it too difficult with all the self-help stuff?

It took a few years, but they got their best-ever numbers in 2004 and then took another hit. Why the growth? Why the big drop? I wonder if the editors and publisher know. I wonder if I can see a reason as I read all of these issues. I wonder if I would subscribe to today’s magazine.

If you’ve ever subscribed to O, I’d love to know why you did/do, and if you’ve cancelled, why. There’s all sorts of reasons for your choice, but I wonder if the content has changed and readers don’t feel its compelling pull anymore. Or is it that it hasn’t changed enough?

Whoa!  This magazine has changed since the last issue I read….granted, I’m still reading a lot of the earlier days, but still.  The calendar is gone, there are a lot more advice columnists, there’s a lot of synergy among media properties (log on to oprah.com and tell us how this story affected you!), and who knows what else that’s totally blowing my mind.

I do wonder when all these changes started, but I suppose that’s something to try to note when I keep reading other issues.  For now, Here We Go!!

In this Oprah column, she notes that there’s a new feature:  A photo album by regular folks.  They have a theme, you send in your pictures.  Is this a way to keep you tied to the magazine?  Is it easy and cheap filler?  Is it a way to peek into other people’s lives?  It’ll be interesting to see how this feature evolves.  This issue it’s before and after pics:  When you wake up and after you’ve put on makeup.  Kind of interesting to see how much makeup matters to women.  I myself don’t wear a whole lot of it, but there are occasions when I do feel I need it to look better.

The “Live Your Best Life” feature has changed as well.  It seems like it used to be advice in one article.  Now it’s an entire section of stuff.  Movies to see, things to buy, music to listen to.  I can’t quite put my finger on it, but this issue seems a lot more stuff-oriented overall.  The front of the magazine looks like a lot of other typical women’s magazines–little blurbs at the front with movies, music, beauty items that are hot at the moment.  Is my O starting to look like other women’s magazines?

I certainly hope not.  Otherwise, what’s the point in holding onto them?  Or maybe that is the point:  Make the magazine something you want to dispose of?  I’ve held onto all the issues because I thought they would be useful references, but if half of the magazine is going to be current information that I don’t really need to refer back to, maybe I shouldn’t hang onto them anymore.

Well, in the last several weeks I’ve been able to use O Magazine to help me out with a personal issue I’ve been having. Although that didn’t really get me much farther in the count of “how many magazines I have read,” it did get me halfway through a couple more issues. More importantly, it did help me reshape the way I think about my problems–or this problem specifically, and that’s really helped.

Now that I’m not dealing with that particular issue anymore, it’s time to move on. I thought I’d read the current issue of O (June 2008: Beauty Revolution) and then compare it with the other beauty issue they put out, which was in April 2006. I’m interested to see if they give repeat advice or conflicting advice. I’m also interested to see if the advice is geared toward a certain age group, or if they try to cover a spectrum of ages.

I’m just in the opening sections of the June 2008 issue now, and it’s a little jarring to read the old magazine, then see instantly how it’s changed. In the “Live Your Best Life” (LYBL) section, there seems to be a lot more short briefs–actually, that seems to be a new section. I thought they had it in the first few issues, but in the last couple I’ve looked at, it seems to be gone. Something to look into. Anyway, the LYBL section makes it seem more like other magazines–and I’m not sure that’s a good thing. How cookie-cutter women’s magazine do you want to get?

The LYBL section also has a lot of “if you only have x amount of time,” items, to which my initial reaction was that I felt more rushed, like I was super-busy, but maybe I could squeeze in this O-approved event to make my life more fulfilled. Do I want my relaxing magazine to make me feel more rushed?

I’ve also noticed in the Dr. Phil and Suze Orman columns that you don’t necessarily need to read them anymore. On the first page of the column by the author’s picture, they’ve boiled down the question to just a couple of words. If it doesn’t apply to you, you don’t need to skim it. This also provokes a couple of reactions: OK, I can save time and only read the bits I want to read. On the other hand, sometimes a solution about a separate problem can have an answer that applies to an issue I’m working on. It’s as if the magazine has decided that serendipity and discovery are no longer good, valid ways of thinking.

I’ve heard that the generations below mine (I’m Gen X) are of the “I know exactly what I want, and I’m going to get/find it, and that’s all I want.” Is that the best approach to everything in life? How did you discover what you want to know? Is the magazine now catering to these whims?

Personally, I’m a fan of serendipity. I’ve found some amazing things just browsing and poking around, and serendipity was a big part of what made me a successful researcher. When I first started, work was a little slow, so I spent some time wandering the stacks, seeing what was in all the books we owned. When work picked up, I pulled answers out of “nowhere” simply because I had explored a little bit. To have such a narrow focus about life seems a bit foolhardy to me.

Or is the editorial board of the mindset that “nobody has any time any more, so we’ll maximize their time with our magazine the best way we can”? Do we all really have no time, or is it just the “in” thing to be rushed? [Having been an overscheduled child, I do know the rush surrounding activities, but I also ended up reading a lot as a kid too, so there must've been some time somewhere.]

I’ll have to take note of this change in the format of the magazine. See when it happened, see what I really prefer. Interesting changes afoot, so stay tuned!

On Friday I had what I consider to be a massive amount of hits.  It’s a drop in the bucket compared to most popular websites, but I thought it was some great progress.

The interesting side effect of this “success” is that I immediately thought, “Why are these people reading my site?  How did they find it?  Where did they come from?  Why would they be reading my work?”

Then I realized that those thoughts were somewhat self-sabotaging.  I remembered that I want people to read my writing.  After all, that is part of the ultimate goal.  Instead of thinking it’s weird that people are tuning into the site, I should be pleased that they are.

And after changing my mindset to think that way, I am pleased.  With blogging, it feels easy to put myself out there because I tend to think people aren’t reading, even though I want them to.  Sometimes they do though, and I have to feel OK with that because that’s part of my definition of success–I want to be able to write books and have people read them. I just have to get a little used to the idea that people will.

So, I’ll be back to the Success issue either later today or early tomorrow, but I wanted to share that little “Aha moment” with you and say thanks for reading.  I really appreciate that you decide to spend part of your day with me, and I hope you enjoy it.