Stamina, Success, and Failure

I’m getting to the point where I feel like I’ve got to move on already and finish up this issue, so let me combine a few articles.

First off, there’s an article on stamina. If you’re a great woman, you’ve had to have stamina to get there. Oprah tells us she’s full of this “what-do-I-got-that-they-ain’t-got kind of stamina.” She just keeps going. She loves to do well because she likes the positive feedback–it spurs her to do more. She mentions that she saw Jesse Jackson speak when she was a high schooler. “He said that excellence is the best deterrent to racism and that it is a way to kepp from being discriminated against. That was part of my drive–the need to be, and do, my best–and the feeling that if I didn’t do my best, I had failed.”

Although the “be excellent” is inspiring, I felt a little sad that part of the drive (or maybe it’s Rev. Jackson’s advice) is to prevent discrimination. I understand that it’s true–and that’s the way it was and still is today (look at all the white people who say they won’t vote for Obama because of his skin color), but I hope that in the future it’s not as difficult for minorities.

Oprah’s also learned a few tricks about stamina–lots of treating yourself well, i.e.–eat right, exercise, read, nourish your body and mind, have a lot of support (friends, family). But the real thing that keeps her going is that she’s doing what she loves to do, and because she does love it, she can go longer.

Other people weigh in on their stamina: The arctic explorer tries to stay in the moment and tries to do things differently when times get rough. The ER doctor keeps going because she loves what she does and believes she’s making a difference. The best-selling author figured out her priorities and made other demands adjust to them. The mom of three learned it’s OK not to finish the to-do list. Chores can wait. The marathon runner gets stamina from exercise and pushing herself to go a little farther.

All interesting–and I like the fact that there are mostly “regular people” here. Regular people also factor into a “phenomenal women” article: They hit rock bottom but became successful in their own rights. This I couldn’t relate to so much because these women were way worse off than I am–drugs, bad foster parents, depression, etc–but they all pulled themselves up. I suppose I can see it as, “Look, these people had it way worse than you ever did, so quit your whining and get to work!”

There’s also an article on a female chef who dumped a successful gig at a fancy New York restaurant to open her own place in Maine. Good thing her partner works with her–she puts in 100 hour workweeks. I’m not too sure how anyone can really do that and still enjoy life, but I suppose it’s fun to get all wrapped up in what you do.

In another series of brief articles on “success,” people like singer India.Arie and writer Bruce Feiler talk about when they became successful–sometimes it seems like it was overnight, other times it took five books to make it. But both talk about pushing themselves further and extending themselves more. Also, having a big support network was extremely valuable.

One of the things I like about this magazine is that they try to get different angles on a story. Since every issue is themed, they have more space to explore the theme. Sometimes they come up with this blurb by a woman who gets excited when her friends find big-time success. She doesn’t have any driving ambition to be the “top dog,” so she’s happy in her life and can enjoy the successes of others.

To me this is a really interesting concept. Because I have the ambition and want to be a top dog, it’s hard for me to realize that other people don’t have that, and that this is OK. They’re happy being support–and let’s face it, we need a lot of support people. It makes me feel like it’s OK to lean on others–and reminds me that I shouldn’t think any less of a person if they don’t have the same view of success that I do.

Failure is also a good topic that the magazine explores by talking to several people about the failures in their lives and how those helped to shape their successes. Lesson is, it’s OK to fail. Let those failures help you figure out what success is to you.

Readers also weigh in on success–and the four people who were chosen are all of the “I was ’successful’ by somebody’s standards, but it wasn’t what I wanted, so I got out of it and figured out (or am figuring out) what I think success is (and this usually means a simpler, happier life on a smaller income).”

So all of this success and failure in easy-to-digest portions. Knowing that I’m bound to fail at something related to writing is actually encouraging to me. Yes, I’ve seen my fair share of failure, but I’m also running into it a lot now that I’m submitting more writing for publication. The failure just makes me want to keep going because at some point I’ll find the success of being published.