I’m not really keyed up with the four “Something to Think About” questions this month–I tend to whine a bit about the questions, but I think I’m getting a handle on defining success for me (being OK with my definition is taking a little bit of work, as is fulfilling my ambition, but that will come. I hope). Here are this month’s questions:
- “What’s your definition of success? Do you consider yourself successful? Would others?” My definition of success is being a writer who’s making decent money by publishing the kind of work I want to. If you’d have asked me this question 8 months ago, I would’ve wanted to write full-time, so I believe I’m successful in that aspect. The publishing bit should come–I’m putting myself out there a little more and am trying harder. I just need to keep plugging away at it. Others probably would think I’m successful for getting to this point–doing what I want to be doing with my life. Although I haven’t really hit the jackpot with publishing, I think I’m getting some slack because I haven’t been at this too long. If I still haven’t hit with anything a year from now, that might be a different story.
- “Whose ideas about success are you living? What assumptions, attitudes, or behaviors would you need to change to find success on your own terms?” At this point in the magazine, I’ve come across this idea that you need to have your idea of success so much that this question is almost irrelevant now. I’ve come up with my own idea of success (see question 1), and asking me again if this is my idea both ticks me off a little and makes me question myself a little bit. I almost want to say, “Hey! Back off! Are you trying to get me to create what I think is a smaller version of success?”
- “List two or three steps you could take to move more in that direction.” So what do you mean? Move in the direction of success? Move in the direction of changing assumptions and attitudes? Because if we’re still on the latter, I’m past that. If I’m moving in the direction of success, I have to keep working and sending out queries–and really, even though I want to give my best work to publishers, I don’t want to invest so much of myself in the query/piece that I’ll get crushed when/if it’s rejected. I want to love my writing and be able to tell myself, “OK, it got rejected there, but that’s fine. Someone else might take this.” I don’t want to pin my hopes on one other person being responsible for my success, if that makes sense.
- “Who are your models of success? Which of their attributes do you admire: Risk taking? Generosity? Resourcefulness? Courage? Self-confidence? Can you find these qualities in yourself?” Well, of course, I find Oprah to be a model of success. I admire the way she’s become such a mogul in our culture. She tells people to read a book, they read a book. It’s really amazing. I also like her because she has standards and really sets the bar high. She demands excellence, and I think she gets it. I also really admire Madonna. She’s savvy and an amazing businesswoman. She seems to be a risk taker, and she’s got boatloads of confidence. In terms of writers, I admire a lot of them, but I’d single out Jen Lancaster as being a good example of success. I enjoy her writing–and I think I can write just as well as she can and be as successful with my writing (her third book just came out)–but I really admire her for being able to sell her writing. Sales is a bit of a weakness with me, and I know she was a salesperson in a former life, so she knows how to do it. Her successes (and reading/listening to her talk about how she got there) remind me that a lot of it has to do with hustling. If she can do it, so can I.
So there you have it. I’m probing what I think about success, and really, I think being successful takes a lot of work, no matter if you’re trying to be a published writer, or if you’re trying to bake the perfect chocolate chip cookie. Both take time and effort–just think of how many times you may have to bake the cookies before you get the perfect recipe–but in the long run, it’ll be worth it.
