I like Oprah because on some levels I can relate to her–or I feel that she can relate to me. I like the fact that I know she’s human, and she’s willing to admit her flaws in front of millions. She constantly says that she’s a work in progress, and I’m like that too. I don’t understand why we tend to put celebrities (or royalty, or world leaders) up on these pedestals, as if they are perfect. Understanding that they’re human and have flaws and make mistakes and do stupid things is comforting to me. It lets me know that I can be successful without having to be perfect.
In this month’s “Let’s Talk” column, Oprah talks about “the a-ha lightbulb moment” in her life. She said it was when she “figured out that my thoughts control my whole life–that no matter what hadn life deals me, I can always choose my response to it.” She continues, “We are each responsible for our lives and, more important, the thought that create them. If you want your life to be more rewarding, you have to change the way you think.” She goes on to talk about how she felt she had to control everything. Once she let up and “let people be,” things got better and life was more enjoyable.
She also talks about changing the way she thought about her job. She switched from thinking it was a “job” and she was the “talent” and instead tried to think of television as a vehicle for expressing herself and topics she felt needed to be discussed. And hey, her work life became a passion.
I come from a controlling background. I remember asking a friend who got married much earlier than I did how she dealt with things like which way the toilet paper hung or if the towels were folded correctly. She told me that stuff didn’t matter. I couldn’t understand how that was possible until years later, when I was in my own relationship and realized that it was a partnership–not me doing all the work, dictating how things were to be done, and then being miserable about it. It makes that aspect of life much easier.
One of the harder thought patterns I personally have to deal with is discouragement. I tend to get down on myself a lot. Is that because I’m fishing for a compliment? Trying to put myself down so that I won’t even try? Paint myself into a little box? It’s something I’ve got to work on. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.
