Ho! Ho! Ho! A Little Cheaper O List!

Since I’ve decided to get rid of the Oprahs, I’m not going to write as much about them.  I just want to plug through them.  I’d thought about keeping track of the O Lists, because it’s interesting to see just how much money one would spend if you bought everything on the list; however, it takes a long time to write it all out and link everything (for those of you who write/blog, you know what I’m talking about–it’s amazing how long writing takes), so I’m just going to touch briefly on it.

I made this decision because the December O List is long so that you have a lot of options for the holidays.  It’s really long.  And O does try to keep the prices down–nothing’s over $100 (save a Visa gift card, which can go up to $250, but you can’t really count that).  Yet even though there’s an effort to help people watch their budgets, there are still things like 2 dozen brownies for $71.  I can’t imagine spending that much on brownies, even if it’s the holidays.

Anyway, the December 2008 issue is all about “Happier Holidays,” which means the first half is stuff, stuff, stuff, and the last half is the reason for the season.  It’s that ironic way of thinking that we seem to do well in America, but whatever.  What’s great about this issue though is that two original features are back:  “Breathing Space” (which may have returned in November, but I haven’t read that issue yet) and the O interview.  Interesting, don’t you think?  It’s nice to have those two features back because they really helped set the magazine apart.  We’ll see if January keeps them.

Doing the Unthinkable

Hey!  There’s a new post here!  What gives?  Where’ve you been, Jill?

Well, let’s just say that my freelance writing career is tougher than I thought it would be, and it’s moving slower.  I’m doing a lot of looking for work, a lot of starting projects that I believe it, and a lot of free work (or, if you want to put it nicely, I’m getting more exposure by helping out some websites I write for).  Granted, this work may pay off some day in one way or another, so I’m not really complaining.  I’m just saying that I’ve been doing other stuff instead of this project.

But Jill, you might say, this project is also interesting.  It has an end.  It could lead into something.  Yeah, it could, but I’d have to overcome many of my shortcomings to make it happen, and I’m trying to weigh the benefits of that.  I don’t even know if this project would help me be the sort of writer I want to be.  This is more academic, and I’m not so analytical and able to stick with replicating the same task over and over again in a grand social experiment.  This project also turned out to be a lot more massive than I thought.  Not because reading a stack of magazines is difficult, but because writing about them takes forever.  And even though I tried to go more quickly, I still haven’t managed to get a handle on it.  I read every other magazine that comes in, and I still put O on the stack to be savored later.

And that to me says something.  It says that I don’t really value the O’s enough.  If I really cared about it, I’d make this magazine a priority.  I’d read it first.  I’d jump at the chance to read it.  But I don’t.  Isn’t that a sign?  If I don’t use it, why do I keep it around?

The other thing I’m tired of is the slight pressure to be “the girl with all the O Magazines.”  It’s not something I feel all the time, but occasionally I’ll mention that I’m thinking about getting rid of them because I’m tired of the clutter and I don’t read them.  I’ll hear back, You can’t get rid of them!  You have every one!  So?  What good is that in the long run?  I have a bunch of magazine boxes crammed full, more in a magazine basket, and more on the way.  And I live in a one bedroom apartment (large, yes, but still).  Where do I store these?  Do I have to move these?  Why do I have to be the keeper of the O?

And I’ve decided that I don’t need to be that person anymore.  I don’t want to be kept by my stuff–which is actually something Oprah and frequent guest Peter Walsh talk about a lot.  And something that I don’t value because I don’t use it isn’t something I want to keep.

The first step I’ve taken is ending my subscription.  I know.  I was a subscriber from day one, and I think the first move I need to make is to prevent them from coming in anymore.  [I'm actually stopping almost all of my magazine subscriptions--I get about 12 magazines now--and I'll play catch up before I decide to start any of them again.]  Then I’ll read what I’ve got—maybe then I can blog a little more about it without having the pressure to read other magazines too.  I’ll see if I can continue on this project, but it may be that the magazines go.

I haven’t decided what to do with them.  Most are in fine condition, but my apartment does get a lot of sun, so most of them are sun damaged in some way.  There’s always magazines for sale on eBay, so I really doubt it would be worth the effort to put all of these up there.  If you want an issue, we can work out an arrangement (that will involve money paid via PayPal–probably $1/issue plus shipping via Media Mail and handling costs–so figure $7/issue).  Just e-mail me and let me know which issue you’re interested in obtaining (and please, don’t try to talk down the costs.  I’m a struggling writer.  I’m not going to spend money sending you something for nothing, when I’m hardly making any money as it is.  I hate to have to even say that, but I feel like it’s necessary).  Otherwise, I’ll see if a local charity wants them, or maybe just even recycle them.

At any rate, I’ve decided that living my best life might be better off without this magazine in it, and I think I need to see if that’s the right decision.

Another Apology

I have days where I feel down (like today) and I get a nudge from someplace reminding me that I haven’t been working on this project very much at all.  It’s like the vacation photos that have piled up or dishes that need to be washed (though obviously, the dishes get taken care of first).  And every once in a while I remember, Oh, yeah, I’m not really making much progress, am I?

I suppose I’ll have to go back to baby steps and take it one article at a time, one issue at a time.  Which I’ll try to do.  I’d also like to not think of this as a chore, something that I’ve put off doing for years, but as an opportunity to grow.  Yeah.  That sounds better!

I’m hoping to get back in the saddle soon, not because more issues keep piling up in my magazine basket, but because I have to renew my subscription soon.  I’m really on the fence about that.  The August issue has more editorial changes, and it looks less and less like the O I was excited about subscribing to, and more like any other women’s magazine.  If it didn’t have Oprah on the cover, I might not be able to recognize it.

I’m presently in one of those funks where I feel that if I bring up anything, it not only gets shot down right away, but it’s probably also held against me at some point.  This is very anti-Oprahish thinking, I know, because I don’t know what other people think, and I shouldn’t let my feelings and emotions be controlled by this imagined behavior.  This is a roundabout way of saying that if I wrote in to the magazine to complain about the loss of the “Breathing Space” feature, they’d probably say that feature was stale, the magazine was stale and needed to be spruced up.  Focus groups demanded the changes.  You know, add more pat answers and instant solutions, don’t make us think too much.  Heaven forbid we think and ponder and reflect at all.  That apparently isn’t the way to live your best life.

I noticed a consultant listed on the masthead of the August issue.  I’m not saying this is all her fault, but I wonder why she’s there.  I wonder if my magazine is going down the tubes.  I wonder if I need it anymore.

Finishing up the July 2007 Issue (Men! Men! Men!)

OK, since I seem to be slipping up a bit on getting the rest of this issue blogged (oh, it’s been read for a couple of days, but I can’t get around to blogging it), I’m going to do a recap of what I thought of the last half of the magazine:

• It makes me laugh to see all the recommended stuff on The O List, and then on the next page, there starts another round of “here’s more stuff to buy, even if it’s not on Oprah’s list.” It’s the style section, and it’s got this headline, “Look What We Found!” which made me wonder, did they really find it, or did they just have a lot of x on hand and decided to write about it. I don’t know how magazines work, and I’m curious. Besides, you just got through what Oprah found….do you have to get through what the staff found too?
• There’s an interesting, humorous article on body image that suggests instead of the BMI, using the PBII (Personal Body Image Index) which recommends gauging yourself on how you feel. The purpose is really to help you get over your hang-ups and enjoy your body as it is at the moment. If you’re relatively thin, yet think you’re fat, 30 years down the road, you might look at yourself and marvel at how thin you were back then. And what did you think back then? You were unhappy with yourself. An interesting concept–another way to try to live in the moment.
• Books of Summer? I have too many on my shelf to get into the new books of summer (except the David Sedaris. I’m reading that one right now).
• “Men! What Are You Thinking?!” The themed section is a group of eight short articles written by men in an attempt to explain themselves. There’s the FAQs (”What do you like most about us?”), the crazy things men think up, what they think of fatherhood, men secrets (”Sometimes we don’t open up because we are afraid of what we will find.”), men’s war stories, men and violence, how men and women differ, men and dancing. While they’re somewhat interesting, I couldn’t help but think the articles said what men wanted us to hear. I think I get more about men when I read Esquire.
• There’s an article about 54 ways to say no–mostly it’s in specific situations (dinner companions asking for a bite of your meal, social hugs, etc.). They’re pretty decent. What I didn’t expect was the companion piece, “The Year of Saying Yes!” by Patricia Volk, who I just adore. Hooray! Patricia was apparently good at saying no, and her friend accuses her of not really pushing the boundaries of life, not really living. So Patricia decides to say yes to every offer that comes up, like introducing a film at a film festival, teaching writing for a semester, going on a blind date. By the end of the article she doesn’t regret saying yes to anything she’s said yes to. “The change has to do with the joy of being available to chance. There is a thrilling difference between being comfortable and being too comfortable.” Well said, Ms. Vollk, and with your usual wonderful writing style. Did I mention that I love this writer’s O articles? One of these days I’ll have to read her books.
• Helicopter parents. This is one of those phenomenon that I do not understand. Why do you want to be that wrapped up in your child’s life that you do basically everything for them? The article said it was a rebellion from Gen X latchkey kids, but I don’t really think so. I think it’s easier to live vicariously through someone else’s life rather than make your own. A lot of women have bought into this competitive parenting, and the results aren’t going to be good (although I didn’t have a helicopter mother, I was told what to do on certain occasions when it would have been more beneficial to allow me to explore and do the work myself. I see that now that I’m an adult.)
• What does Oprah know for sure? She’s still excited about her decision to choose Eckhardt Tolle’s book A New Earth for her book club/class experience. She’s excited that people are living more in the moment (or say they’re living more in the moment) and experiencing more spirituality because of it.
• What does Jill know for sure? Well, I’m glad to be finished with another issue. I’m still trying to get a better balance of how to do this blog. Does one big entry like this work? Or would it be better to separate this a bit more? I’ll keep playing with it, but it’s certainly a relief to be done blogging this issue in one fell swoop!

August 2008 is “True Life Stories,” so I’ll read it, then go back to these other men issues. Onward!

UPDATED TO ADD:  A half-hour after I posted this, I realized the July 2008 issue doesn’t have an O Interview in it!  There doesn’t seem to be one in the August 2008 issue either?  This is definitely odd.  I wonder if there’s a reason, or if this is just a little vacation and it’s happened before.  Anyone know?

I Knew This Would Happen!

Uh oh.  The August Oprah came in today’s mail.  That means I really need to get on the horn and get July done.  But I’ve been working on some network building, meaning I’m trying to maximize the MySpace profile.  If you want to be buddies, just holler!

O, to Buy!

Hey there–sorry I’ve been gone for a while.  I went on vacation last week (well, it was helping people move across country, but when you have no income, that counts as vacation), and before that I was trying to get my act together and get a little bit of writing/submitting done.  I’m coming up on a three month goal list that I’m not doing terribly well at, which means I need to put my nose to the grindstone a little bit more and get some stuff written.

Anyway, it’s good to be back, and I’m hoping to whiz through the rest of the July issue (August is due in my mailbox any day now).   First up, the July O List:

• one pound of Cundy Harbor, Maine, lobster salad and six split-top rolls:  $85
• handpainted ladybug chocolates:  $34 for 12
• beach blanket/towel from Scoop Beach:  $185
• cutlery caddy:  $42
• Bobby Flay terracotta tray:  $15
• Merriam-Webster leather-bound dictionary:  $156
• Creative Living roll-up beach mat:  $25
• Bensimon rubber-soled canvas shoes:  $70/pair
• Corazona’s heart-healthy oat tortilla chips:  $6.50 for 2-7 oz. bags

Your grand total for July 2008:  $618.50

You Should Care About Having Debt

The Suze Orman column in the July 2008 issue has one stand-out question:  What’s so wrong with having debt?

Suze goes off.  It’s fantastic!  The writer has $20,000 in credit card debt, owes $165,000 on a first mortgage, has an unspecified home equity loan, and car payments.  She says if it weren’t for debt, they wouldn’t own their own home, etc.  Then they’ve got family memberships to a bunch of places:  Disneyland, a water park, museums, and the YMCA.  “I don’t mind that we’re overextending ourselves because I feel these things are important.  We may live paycheck to paycheck, but we’re happy,” she writes.

Suze sets this woman straight:  “First of all, you don’t own a thing; your lenders do.”  I think people forget this part of “owning” a home.  You don’t own it until you’ve paid off the mortgage.  One friend of mine said she just thought of it as paying rent to the bank instead of to a landlord.  And Suze mentions that if you don’t pay, you can lose it all.

Plus, the writer didn’t allude to any savings, so there doesn’t seem to be a cushion in case of unemployment or illness.  She needs to have that six-month rainy day fund to help out in cases like these, so cut back on the spending (especially those memberships), and start saving.

Personally, I was a bit boggled at all the memberships.  How can they go to all of these places?  A long time ago, I read somewhere that it was a good strategy to get a family membership to one museum for a year.  You go back to that museum a few times, and you don’t have to worry about covering the entire place in one trip.  Spend a couple hours there and see one or two exhibits, then go home before everyone gets crabby.  The next year you choose a different museum and do the same thing.  I don’t have a family, but I thought that was a really good solution, if you like going to museums a lot.

The sidebar in this column explains good debt–”money you borrow to purchase an asset, such as a home you can afford” (I’m noting that last phrase….at some point I’ll get to the issues from during the housing boom, and I’m curious to see what she says back then) or a student loan.  Bad debt is borrowed money for something that depreciates, like a car, or for financing indulgences you couldn’t normally afford.  You should try to have zero bad debt.  Interestingly, her advice for car buying is to spend only what you can pay off in three years.  Otherwise, you’re stretching yourself a little too thin in the pocketbook.

You Can Change the Past!

Hello again!  It’s been a while since I’ve written.  Sorry for that, but I got to working on some other projects.  I love to write, but it’s always way more time-consuming than I think it should be; therefore, my side projects often get kicked aside for a few days (or a week.  Or two.) while I tackle something that has a deadline or try to get some work that pays.

Anyhow, I’m back again to tackle the July issue–and hopefully finish it before the August one shows up in my mailbox.

Martha Beck is a regular O contributor–I think she may have written something for every issue, but I’m not exactly sure.  I haven’t talked about her articles much because they haven’t always applied to me.   This month she’s got a great article about regret and how to deal with it.

We all have regrets, but Beck says you can stop being paralyzed by regret and take some action to not make it such a negative feeling.  Although you may not think this is true, you can change the regrets of your past.  Beck says, “The past doesn’t exist except as a memory, a mental story, and though past events aren’t changeable, your stories about them are.  You can act now to transform the way you tell the story of your past, ultimately making it a stalwart protector of your future.”

Wow!  I never thought of it like that!  Beck details six steps to help you change your way of thinking about regret.  One comes with an interesting story about a potential Olympian who had a horrible meet that ruined her chances of competing.  Beck asked what she would’ve gotten out of being in the Olympics, and the girl gave a few words.  These adjectives helped her realize what kind of job she was looking for, and she learned to channel that regret into a new passion.  Her Olympic dream didn’t matter anymore.

I like articles that help me see my feelings in a new light.  It’s articles like these that keep me subscribing.

Starting Up the Topic of MEN

I kind of like looking at the latest issue–that way, if some part of it interests you, you can still go out and buy it. Therefore, next up is July 2008: Men! What Are They Thinking? Plus, summer reading recommendations.

Men is a popular topic with O Magazine. It’s been covered three times previously, so it’ll be interesting to compare all four issues and see what they say. Will anything contradict itself? Once you read all four issues, will you need any other information? We shall see.

What I Know About Beauty

Well, I’ve wrapped up another issue (yippee!!!!). I’m not doing a separate “What Oprah Knows For Sure” entry because Oprah doesn’t talk about beauty in the beauty issue. Maybe Oprah feels ugly. Maybe she doesn’t feel like she knows something about beauty for sure. What she does know is that when she was in Krakow visiting Auschwitz with Elie Wiesel, she realized that all of life is extraordinary. “There are no ordinary moments.” The whole Auschwitz experience made her feel sad for the Holocaust but also made her happy and long to be alive.

Beautiful thoughts, yes, but it was a bit of a jolt to read them at the end of the Beauty issue. I liked the fact that the magazine tried to get you to change your thinking about beauty without the pat stories about beauty being from within. It was a very non-cliched issue that opened up my eyes to the way we’ve been conditioned to think about beauty and to think about how beautiful or not beautiful we are.

I remember when I was high school age, I used to sit and look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I was beautiful and some guy would eventually see that and think I was beautiful. I went to a school with a lot of Dutch people, many of whom had blond hair and blue eyes. I looked a little bit different–not overly so, but I wasn’t a looker. Telling myself I was pretty though I think had a decent effect on me because I don’t really buy into the idea that a serum will make me look better–maybe it will enhance my already stunning beauty, but it’s not going to cure anything.

Like many women, I’ve been able to beat myself up about who I am or am not. I compare myself to others all too often, and I focus on that stupidity rather than become excellent on my own. Accepting my own beauty is at least was step in the right direction of being a better person.