Hey! There’s a new post here! What gives? Where’ve you been, Jill?
Well, let’s just say that my freelance writing career is tougher than I thought it would be, and it’s moving slower. I’m doing a lot of looking for work, a lot of starting projects that I believe it, and a lot of free work (or, if you want to put it nicely, I’m getting more exposure by helping out some websites I write for). Granted, this work may pay off some day in one way or another, so I’m not really complaining. I’m just saying that I’ve been doing other stuff instead of this project.
But Jill, you might say, this project is also interesting. It has an end. It could lead into something. Yeah, it could, but I’d have to overcome many of my shortcomings to make it happen, and I’m trying to weigh the benefits of that. I don’t even know if this project would help me be the sort of writer I want to be. This is more academic, and I’m not so analytical and able to stick with replicating the same task over and over again in a grand social experiment. This project also turned out to be a lot more massive than I thought. Not because reading a stack of magazines is difficult, but because writing about them takes forever. And even though I tried to go more quickly, I still haven’t managed to get a handle on it. I read every other magazine that comes in, and I still put O on the stack to be savored later.
And that to me says something. It says that I don’t really value the O’s enough. If I really cared about it, I’d make this magazine a priority. I’d read it first. I’d jump at the chance to read it. But I don’t. Isn’t that a sign? If I don’t use it, why do I keep it around?
The other thing I’m tired of is the slight pressure to be “the girl with all the O Magazines.” It’s not something I feel all the time, but occasionally I’ll mention that I’m thinking about getting rid of them because I’m tired of the clutter and I don’t read them. I’ll hear back, You can’t get rid of them! You have every one! So? What good is that in the long run? I have a bunch of magazine boxes crammed full, more in a magazine basket, and more on the way. And I live in a one bedroom apartment (large, yes, but still). Where do I store these? Do I have to move these? Why do I have to be the keeper of the O?
And I’ve decided that I don’t need to be that person anymore. I don’t want to be kept by my stuff–which is actually something Oprah and frequent guest Peter Walsh talk about a lot. And something that I don’t value because I don’t use it isn’t something I want to keep.
The first step I’ve taken is ending my subscription. I know. I was a subscriber from day one, and I think the first move I need to make is to prevent them from coming in anymore. [I'm actually stopping almost all of my magazine subscriptions--I get about 12 magazines now--and I'll play catch up before I decide to start any of them again.] Then I’ll read what I’ve got—maybe then I can blog a little more about it without having the pressure to read other magazines too. I’ll see if I can continue on this project, but it may be that the magazines go.
I haven’t decided what to do with them. Most are in fine condition, but my apartment does get a lot of sun, so most of them are sun damaged in some way. There’s always magazines for sale on eBay, so I really doubt it would be worth the effort to put all of these up there. If you want an issue, we can work out an arrangement (that will involve money paid via PayPal–probably $1/issue plus shipping via Media Mail and handling costs–so figure $7/issue). Just e-mail me and let me know which issue you’re interested in obtaining (and please, don’t try to talk down the costs. I’m a struggling writer. I’m not going to spend money sending you something for nothing, when I’m hardly making any money as it is. I hate to have to even say that, but I feel like it’s necessary). Otherwise, I’ll see if a local charity wants them, or maybe just even recycle them.
At any rate, I’ve decided that living my best life might be better off without this magazine in it, and I think I need to see if that’s the right decision.